Never underestimate the tragedy of chapped lips.

CAPES [something empowering] Ladies, listen up. We have an obligation here. I call it the "Girl Alliance". Basically, it's throwing female competitiveness out the window, and looking out for each other. Among other inappropriate and un-post-able comments, the following was overheard at a coffee shop the other day: some guy says to cute girl, "The hot dog in my pants is on spring clearance." She needs a hero, and by all means it's not him. If you want to be a member of the Girl Alliance, part of that means saying to the girl: "Honey, get out. Now." Let's do this. Join me.

COFFEE [latest trend or addiction] I recently cleaned out my chapstick/lipgloss drawer. And by "cleaned out" I mean organized. My findings: around 40 different tubes of various sticks and glosses. I could probably go the rest of my life without needing to purchase a new tube...and yet...

THE COLOR ORANGE [something noteworthy] The other day I was at a pub. A woman walked in wearing the following: REI khaki pants that have the zipper option to convert into shorts paired with cute heels. I'm not judging her, but why? Why that combo? Maybe the Girl Alliance should address this issue as well.